...are inevitably way hotter than the Fags changing in the same gym's locker room? Are these not the same Fags?
Why on earth do You think this is?
You are encouraged to answer in the form of a comment to this post (see link below) so all of You can get to the bottom of this horrible gay injustice!
Monday, May 5, 2008
ASK YOURSELF: You Have No Idea Why the Fags Working Out at the Gym...
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15 comments:
Possibility Number 1:
The way-hotter guys are /always/ exercising just that much longer than you are... and thus YOU always miss 'em in the locker room.
Possibility Number 2:
Hotter guys know they'll know they're gonna be stared at in the locker and thus avoid it?
Possibility Number 3:
YOU might just have hit on one of those Gay Mysteries that deserve their own Logo or Bravo 'Mysteries Unveiled' Hour-long special.
Pretty much because most of the men that go back into the locker room are there to either show off a body they don't have or stare at the hot guys they think will be there. I know I fall under number two.
But Not Yet Famous, don't those hot guys have to change? Or shower? Or even pee once in a while?
I think Manuel B's Possibility #3 must be right. This is just a serious Gay Mystery on par with how the hell they built those Egyptian Pyramids. I bet the hot Hebrew Slaves were M.I.A. during a group bathing session in the Nile, too.
maybe the gyms just hire the hotties to lure us into binding lifetime memberships. then we stick around forever on the hope of FINALLY seeing one of them in the locker room. economics 101.
I think Chip might be onto something. Although, what is this mysterious thing you speak of: economics 101? Is it a new Gay Cocktail for Hotties only?
Ooh, ooh, I know!
The problem is that the guys out on the floor exercising look so much hotter because they seem so manly pumping iron or running on the treadmill. Add to that all that pheromone-laced sweat and you can't help but swoon over the man you would normally just give a passing glance.
Plus once in the locker room you get to see what's under those designer gym clothes, and unfortunately no shnazzy label can make up for plain old unattractiveness.
Seriously, when is the Diet Pill to End All Diet Pills coming out? It would solve this gym-vs-locker-room thing, and we'd all save money that we can put towards some Gay Cocktails.
Actually I assume that most of You don't go to My gym because the locker room is usually full of hotties in full parade regatta mode, prancing about, or sitting on the bench 'checking their mobiles' or adjusting themselves in the underwear department - ad naseum.
Regardless, may I riddle you with a counter question? I'd like to know why the hot guys with the fabulous bodies seem to be the chatty Cathies? You know who you are or at least you know what I am talking about..it seems that these guys work out someplace else and then come to my gym to prance about, listen to the music and basically have a protein drink non-Gay Cocktail.
It's all so silly!
-Non Party Boy Party Boy (who doesn't have gmail to register)
Ok! I think Non Party Boy Party Boy (NPBPB) has just solved this age-old dilemma. You see, I have chatted with him off-line and know he works out where all the fancy party boys work out, David Barton Gym (http://davidbartongym.com/) This is much too fancy for a starving writer, but I have, of course, gotten a guest pass to check it out. All the Gay Boys work out at this gym and they are all hot and going here is like going to Splash (http://www.splashbar.com/) only, instead of drinking Gay Cocktails, at David Barton Gym you are encouraged to drink Gay Mocktails made with Creatine.
Ok, there's your background lesson in New York Gay Gyms. Now, if all the Hottie Gay Boys work out at this same gym, then we must be encountering the Hottie Straight Boys who are too nervous to go into the locker rooms of their Non-Gay gyms because they now the Less-Hottie Gay Boys are there to oggle them!
Am I right? Have we solved this issue without having to have a Logo Documentary?
Kudos to NPBPB!
Of course, here in the college town I live in, we have two gyms where all the hot frat boys go to. One's the student center where they go to show off, and the other is the gym near campus where they actually work out. Being a patron of both, I see how much they love to prance around in that locker room. There is no real reason for that many straight boys to be naked for that long (not that I'm complaining). Of course, being frat boys, I doubt most of them are really all that straight.
Haha! You guys are brilliant!
Meanwhile, my basement gym has been promising a new branch since the beginning of the year and has been increasing membership based on this new branch that is yet unopened. The one advantage: the scenery has definitely improved.
What are you talking about? I'm always in the locker room.
Yes, we all know that you're always in the locker room, Anonymous. But might some of that locker room time be better off spent inside the gym? Specifically on the treadmill? I'm not one to call anyone else Gay Fat, but Swimsuit Season is just around the corner and do you really want to pull that two-piece out of retirement in order to cover up those Man Boobs that suddenly reappeared this winter?
Okay boys. I just got back from the gym today and as I was leaving the locker room I saw the MOST GORGEOUS speciman standing in his tightie whiteys. I almost fainted. I guess this is a simple example of putting something out into the YOUniverse and then it comes back to you ten fold!
And Anonymous, you know I was just teasing you, right? Or perhaps that was you I laid my eyes upon today? If so, trust me, you don't need that two-piece!
hahaha. It wasn't me, I don't live in New York. Don't worry, I wasn't offended. I know I won't be pulling out any sort of two piece anytime soon.
The aforementioned DavidBartonGym in Chelsea gives out free memberships to the local hottie bartenders/porn-stars/hookers/men-about-town, so as to lure in the saggy titted 45 year olds who actually pay for membership.
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