ASK YOURSELF: You're Not One of Those Fags Who Plays Footsie on the Subway...

...so why is it that Straight Guys are always spreading their legs as wide as a Whore in Labor, while rubbing their knees up against yours?

Why on earth do You think this is?

Please answer by commenting to this post (see link below) so all of us can get to the bottom of this horrible gay injustice!

Here's what some of You have been saying:

Shane said...
Because its so freakin [hot] on the subway, their balls are stuck to their leg, so they spread em to air em out. this would be my guess. June 22, 2008 10:14 AM

Jesse Archer said...
Breeders want to take up as much space as possible. A bigger spread attracts a more fertile female. I'm sure it's all very darwinian. Hence the reason I always cross my legs. June 22, 2008 11:41 AM

ASK YOURSELF: You're Not One of Those Fags Who Goes Back to Cali...

...and doesn't go out for Gay Cocktails! But you like your Gay Bars to be Cute, and your Gay Boys to be Cuter.

What's a Gay Boy to do...

...in Los Angeles on Wednesday & Thursday, June 4th & 5th?
...in Palm Springs on Friday, June 6th?
...in San Francisco on Sunday & Monday, June 8th & 9th?

If you get some good suggestions, then you will surely be writing about your Misadventures in the (310), the (760) and the (415)! Anyway...

ASK YOURSELF: You Really Don't Know Why Some Fags Feel Compelled to Write to You...

...when they have nothing nice to say? Since they obviously don't like you, then why on earth do they bother reading your Blah-Blah-Blog in the first place?

From: Bronwyn Walker-Jackson [email address deleted]
Sent: Tuesday, May 27, 2008 4:21:56 PM
Subject: How can you afford to just drink all the time?

Did writing for television really make you that much money? And really, TELEVISION? Ick. Don't you feel like a whore?

Bronwyn

Why on earth do You think this is?

Please answer by commenting to this post (see link below) so all of us can get to the bottom of this horrible gay injustice!

Here's what some of You have been saying:

You said...
Dear Bronwyn,
Yes. Yes. No.
xoxo You!
May 30, 2008 11:45 PM

Jyr653 said...
Upon careful reading and analysis of my blah-blah-blog, it can be noted that most of my drinks are supplied by friends, parties, acquaintances, hot boy-toys, and such. Really, as if I were an amateur... *tsk tsk*. May 31, 2008 12:23 PM

The Fabulous One said...
Oh, oh! I know what his problem is. He's jealous of You, glorious You! May 31, 2008 2:36 PM

Jesse Archer said...
As for Bronwyn, she is a whore, except a real one that doesn't make as much money as the whores writing for tv. Old fashioned envy. Plus, her name is Bronwyn so she's Irish, dances without her arms, has red hair and is unable to get a tan. Wouldn't you be bitter? May 31, 2008 2:58 PM

secret gaygent man said...
Hey Bronywn! What kind of a name is that, *anyways*?? Stop hanging out with those debbie downer Druids; sounds like you could use a drink yourself! May 31, 2008 4:38 PM

Sancho said...
en·vy - noun - "a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc." Some 'mos just can't get over the fact that other people might be doing better than them at life. June 1, 2008 2:21 AM

Shane said...
Bronwyn, is it not true that every job needs a worker? Without television writers, your sorry ass would have nothing to do on Friday nights with your dozen cats all huddled around you. Everyone is posting such nice comments to this Bronwyn person. Ill step up....Bronwyn SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITTER FUCKING TWAT. have a nice day :) June 2, 2008 2:25 PM

Corey said...
Television is a waste of fucking time. I tend to agree with Bronwyn. You should get a fucking job. And maybe, you know, try to make a difference in the world. P.S. I can foresee the comments, so I'll spare you the time slinging the "envy" word at me, because yes, I'll totally admit it: I am envious of anyone who has as much disposable income as you seem to. Especially someone who pisses it away on "Gay Cocktails." So sad. June 2, 2008 6:24 PM

ATL said...
I think Corey just needs to get laid. A nice big peen up his ass should mellow him out some. But that's just my opinion... June 2, 2008 10:28 PM

Jan said...
"Bronwyn is a whore." "Shut the fuck up, you twat." "Corey needs to get laid." Jesus. Who knew how many unoriginal, rude, totally common and typical gay minds read this blog? I guess now we know. June 3, 2008 12:35 PM

ATL said...
Jan, by commenting on this blog, I hope you do realize that you are also in the company of the so-called "unoriginal, rude, totally common and typical gay minds" that read this blog. Way to make yourself look superior... I hope you caught my unoriginal, rude, and totally common gay sarcasm :) P.S. Yes, I will always stick up for You and his right to a Gay Cocktail! It's one of the ways we deal with people like Jan!!! :D xoxo ATL! June 3, 2008 1:16 PM

Dana said...
Not only are "You" self-absorbed and totally undeserving of your wealth, but your Boy Luck Friends are TOTALLY right -- "You" are desperate. It comes through in almost every post, but most accutely in the one above where you freak the fuck out because your "Swedie Pi" apparently didn't feel like sticking his tongue down your throat on the first date, and then you go begging a STRANGER to assess your chances with him. Jeez! One might think that generating so much verbiage about your own life (and by life I guess I mean drinking and fucking because that's what this blog seems to be about... or drinking and trying desperately to get fucked), "You" might become more self-aware -- but one would be wrong. Sometimes, it occurs to me that the blog must be fiction, that nobody could be as shallow and empty as this. I hope that's true. Anyway, my main point is that I agree with the poster who said that television is a waste of fucking time, and I for one would never be interested in dating some layabout drunk who made a pile of cash helping dumb down our culture by turning people into couch potato zombies. June 4, 2008 9:47 AM

Shane said...
who knew there were so many lonely women out there reading your gay blog lmfao. As for me, I can identify with this blog, as I am quite sure most of the other fags in here. the sad people here are the ones that are reading this blog and sending hate messages. Its kinda like being Jewish, but attending catholic services. FYI http://youtube.com/watch?v=wXBhBDCdiSY June 4, 2008 10:50 AM

ASK YOURSELF: You Have No Idea Why Some Gay Boys Will Go Out of Their Way to Ask For Your Number...

...and then never bother to call?

Why on earth do You think this is?

Please answer by commenting to this post (see link below) so all of us can get to the bottom of this horrible gay injustice!

Here's what some of you have been saying:

The Fabulous One said...
The positive, hoping-in-homo-humanity idea: maybe they're just fucking careless and they lost it? Hopefully...Or, they're just hoping to get in your pants tonight and when it doesn't happen, *delete*. May 23, 2008 11:43 PM

Shane said...
hmmm Ive never had this problem, I don't ever give out my number. But I think The Fabulous One is right, they ask hoping that you will take them home that night, its kind of a foot in the door kinda thing. May 24, 2008 10:33 AM

NPBPB said...
I hadn't considered the ploy of hoping it's a "tonight" kind of thing. That's an optimistic thought. When single I never liked giving my number out because I am too much of a control freak and don't like the idea of random calls from strangers I met when drunk. My guestimate of why this happens in singledom is based more on straight guys doing the same to my women friends - the number TAKER is just not that into the number GIVER, and it's a simple way for the TAKER to feign interest and to ultimately give the brush off without seeming like a jerk. It's like instant gratification for the GIVER but never amounts to much. Oddly, I'm curious why the GIVERs of the world continue to place expectations on the TAKERS ever calling? Why don't the GIVERS ask for the TAKERS' number as well? May 24, 2008 11:34 AM

Not Yet Famous said...
I'm going to be a bandwagon person and agree with both The Fabulous One and NPBPB. Though, I think NPBPB's contained a few too many caps... May 24, 2008 1:51 PM

Anonymous said...
I always assumed it was because people like me exist in the world: the majority of the guys who ask for my number are not at all attractive to me, physically or otherwise, so I give them a wrong number. I'll probably never see them again and I won't IMMEDIATELY seem like an asshole. It usually works. May 24, 2008 5:05 PM

Justin said...
Guys give me their numbers. I don't want them b/c I get so caught up in the rules of when I should or should not call that I end up not calling at all. I'm just so nervous that I'll be calling at the wrong time so I won't. So what do I do instead? I text. :-P May 26, 2008 1:54 AM

Sancho said...
More often than not I've found that when I get a number when I'm out I'm usually pretty drunk. Therefore once I recover the next day I either 1.) Have no idea who this person is that I met or 2.) Realize "My god, was I really talking to HIM?! "So in the end I don't end up calling the numbers I come back with after a night of debauchery (sometimes, in rare cases, I do). I then just assume if I have given out my number (and remember giving it out) and don't receive a call, then they had the same reaction. Just my 2 cents on this issue... May 26, 2008 7:31 AM

Anonymous said...
More importantly why do some guys FORCE their number on you when you're clearly not interested, and then you're bored one day so you figure you might as well text them and never hear from back from them? May 26, 2008 11:33 PM

ASK YOURSELF: When it Comes to Online Dating, You Don't Understand...

...why the same trolls who would never have the balls to ask you out in person, somehow seem to muster up enough iCourage to harass you online for a date?

Why on earth do You think this is?

Please answer by commenting to this post (see link below) so all of us can get to the bottom of this horrible gay injustice!

Here's what some of You have been saying:

Not Yet Famous said...
Online makes it safer for them. If you say no, they've put absolutely no *real* effort into you, plus there's no public embarrassment. Or maybe they're simply too lazy to get off their fat asses and hoof it to a club...or any other meeting place.
May 15, 2008 12:41 AM

Justin said...
I wonder that myself...I suppose it's because they feel they can deal with the rejection better online than in person.
May 15, 2008 12:51 AM

Anonymous said...
It's probably like buying things with a credit card vs. cash...while deep down you know it's real and that you're accumulating some sort of debt (in the case of the resilient trolls, rejection)you have grown accustomed to the quasi-nature of it all.Also, emails, texts and such can be interpreted in any number of ways, so unless a rejection is spelled out, perhaps the troll just doesn't realize his pursuits are a waste of his time.-NPBPB
May 15, 2008 9:24 AM

Sancho said...
This is a pretty common phenomena in all areas of interaction over the internet. One popular website has defined it as "John Gabriel's Greater Internet F*ckwad Theory". It was recently cited in an Advocate story about online homophobia. Basically the "formula" is: "Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total F*ckwad".While being rather graphic, it is accurate. The internet provides a medium of complete anonymity where a person can be whoever they want. In the "online dating" realm the rule still applies, just in a slightly modified format. Assuming the person is using their own pictures (let's not even consider imposters), then some degree of anonymity is lost. The portion at play here is that this isn't true human to human communication/contact. This person is just typing words into a keyboard to transmit them to a digital representation of someone else. There is an enormous chasm of "human contact" missing compared to making a connection with someone in a bar or other physical social situation.Online dating is nice, but I'm always wary of depending completely upon it to meet people. Nothing beats ACTUAL human contact and socializing.
May 15, 2008 10:05 AM

patrick_atlanta said...
There may be some return-on-investment strategy at play. Think about it from a time aspect - by having an online profile and a few canned lines, you could hit on a hundred guys in the same amount of time that you could maybe hit on 5 at the bar. That being said, instead of actually reading your online profile with the far-fetched hopes of seeing something like "I love short, obese, semi-closeted gentleman that are 20-years my senior", Mr. Troll can instead just scatter his flirts across every attractive guy on the internet and pray that there is at least one that is just that lonely... or just possible into short, obese, semi-closeted gentleman that are 20-years their senior.
May 15, 2008 9:32 PM

Anonymous said...
You've given this a lot of thought, and decided in the end, you secretly appreciate the troll fags who hit on you, because you know that the alternative would be too damaging to your ego.Yes, you are annoyed when you go online and instantly get winks and chats from repulsive, toothless fags whose profile pics remind you of something out of a B-horror movie. But sometimes that's all you get, which is at least something.Just think if even the hideous troll fags didn't hit on you! And deep down, you know it's kind of fun to reject 10 fags in an hour... even if they are repulsive.
May 16, 2008 12:43 AM

Benjamin said...
I think we have this fictitious belief that somehow the guys we talk to online are more (their profiles usually state) "down-to-earth", "laid-back", "chill", etc, etc. We feel a sense of security from reading these adjectives and thus feel more inclined to put our so-called "similar" personalities out there. In reality, most gay-guys aren't "chill" nor "laid-back"...cmon, give me a break. We're stressed out, overworked, sleep deprived fags who struggle just to make it in this intense city. How the f can a person say their chill in NYC? Sorry, unless your made out of mucho $$, you're struggling and therefore often "not-chill." This already is a red-flag for my online dating mantra. Does that mean all gay-guys are lying on their about me sections? (not always, but stretching the truth sure seems easy in the homo world) It's all about reading between the "iLines." Meanwhile as Samantha puts it, "You gotta get online honey. If only for the porn."
May 16, 2008 8:39 AM

Shane said...
Ha ha ha. I missed this yesterday cause I was celebrating the gay marriage thing here in Cali but......after reading the responses I had to laugh at the fact that almost all of the guys that responded kept saying "they" as if referring to other guys which makes me think....

Only GQ models were replying to your poll. LMFAO
May 16, 2008 1:02 PM

ASK YOURSELF: You Have No Idea Why the Fags Working Out at the Gym...

...are inevitably way hotter than the Fags changing in the same gym's locker room? Are these not the same Fags?

Why on earth do You think this is?

You are encouraged to answer in the form of a comment to this post (see link below) so all of You can get to the bottom of this horrible gay injustice!